New Parent Laughs Pillows

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Use your inside scream."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Family.

Beware of teething baby.

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

They Removed my Brain.

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Husband and Child in Pram

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

A (P)ram.

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

Baby Bat Mobile

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

'She'll open her eyes in a few days. I don't know about us.'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'