New Life Ponderer T-Shirts

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Death coach..."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

Baxter finally gets a life

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Truth