Modern Life Ponderer T-Shirts

"At this point, my privacy needs are interfering with my intimacy goals."

The myPhone

"I know being a celebrity might not make me happy but I could be an unhappy celebrity."

Cellular Phones Use Left Lane

Truth

"The problems will remain the same, but apparently they get wordier and wordier."

Officer Worker Evolution

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

Special Advertising Section 1/2 Mile

"Which way did he go?"

"I'm to tired to click on things all day."

Whatever

'I'd love to have a puppy, but they're so hard to communicate with since you can't text them.'

Multiple devices

Baby boomer and millennial fighting

"Remember when we used to flock together, instead of just tweeting all day on line?"

Time

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Baxter finally gets a life

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

Creator's Remorse