New Fathers Gifts

Newbaby lounge

Nurse using a paper chain to deliver news.

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

A young Don King

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'I told you it would be useful.'

The Baby Walker

baby sweetcorn...

'Ahhh...'

Interior design trends for parents....

Pool attached to child's bed.

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"