New Family Gifts

"You just wait until your other mother gets home, young man!"

Mythical Family of Four

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

A young Don King

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Ahhh...'

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

A midwife holding a baby

Interior design trends for parents....

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'