New Father Gifts

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"It's not easy, the constant demand for attention, the fussing and crying..."

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

Clown baby.

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"Congratulations! You're the proud father of 5 thousand squirming little maggots!"

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

Nursery

"Don't worry, it isn't yours."

"Yes, I was up all night with the baby, but did I get any help?! Oh no, somehow, it's important that 'the lion sleeps tonight'!!"

Maternity ward 'same day delivery'

Overprotective Father

A balloon that says 'Dad'

"That's mine."

"What a beautiful little tax deduction!"

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'It's my wife...I'm a father!'

Fisherman's new baby.

Sometimes I think I liked it better when they gave out cigars. (new fathers are covered in bubble gum).

Ugly father.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

"Which one's yours?"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

Newborns on cell phones

The (literal) birth of Venus.

"Congratulations! It's a Beanie Baby."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.