New Farming Job Gifts

"It drives me MAD when farmers complain about their work. . . I mean they do valuable important, interesting and rewarding work. . . and they get to do it 90 hours a week!"

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

Farmers' Warnings.

'Where's my glove?'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

Cow Pilot.

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"It's only until Dad gets his stall built."

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

Rooster

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

Cage-free eggs.

Biotechnology in agriculture

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

The stuff of Legend.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.