Farm Worker Gifts

"Hi guys, I'll be herding-from-home-today."

'Now, don't make a big fuss -- we're just migrant workers.'

"Why do you want to know if you're covered by workers comp?"

'I got tired of having a farmer's tan.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

'Well, I was offered 15 million to do a movie with Julia Roberts, but I'll keep farming ..that was a joke.'

Will work for manure.

Thank you, Essential Workers

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'George, why don't you break down and buy a electric fence tester.'

"The movie star who owns this winery bought it to 'have fun.' I'm glad somebody's having fun."

Wing-Wing! Chicken disturbed by phone.

"Why should I spend any money on a new potato digger-bagger? I've got my kids!"

'Ever have one of those days when you needed a prod to get you going?'

" - And in farm news, the corn is as high as a elephant's eye."

'Another acute prognosis! Dammit!'

"You youngsters will never understand what farming used to be about...you're to cosseted in your hated tractors surrounded your gizmos..."

'I'm supposed to get off at four. What is that in cotton-pickin' minutes?'

'Where's my glove?'

"Millions of acres of farmland are taken out of production every year...a lot of them by me."

Water and agriculture

Production in times of pandemic

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

'I was planning to retire next year but I think I'll go bankrupt instead and live off the bailout.'

Agriculture and New Technologies

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

I'd like to go on a merit based pay system.

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'Sam, you either rebuild these gutters or you can get another veterinarian.'

'No, you can't telecommute.'

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"