Farm Worker Gifts

"Hi guys, I'll be herding-from-home-today."

"Why do you want to know if you're covered by workers comp?"

'Now, don't make a big fuss -- we're just migrant workers.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'George, why don't you break down and buy a electric fence tester.'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

Will work for manure.

'Where's my glove?'

'I'm supposed to get off at four. What is that in cotton-pickin' minutes?'

"You youngsters will never understand what farming used to be about...you're to cosseted in your hated tractors surrounded your gizmos..."

'Another acute prognosis! Dammit!'

" - And in farm news, the corn is as high as a elephant's eye."

"The movie star who owns this winery bought it to 'have fun.' I'm glad somebody's having fun."

'Ever have one of those days when you needed a prod to get you going?'

"Why should I spend any money on a new potato digger-bagger? I've got my kids!"

Wing-Wing! Chicken disturbed by phone.

Production in times of pandemic

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

'I was planning to retire next year but I think I'll go bankrupt instead and live off the bailout.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

I'd like to go on a merit based pay system.

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'Sam, you either rebuild these gutters or you can get another veterinarian.'

'No, you can't telecommute.'

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'

'Jenkins, this is very important. Do you remember which horse kicked you?'

"Don't you think it's about time you milked me?"

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

Farmland

"Can you milk a cow?"