New Faith Community Gifts

'Is this seat taken?'

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Tiny Visions

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Father

Drive-thru Church

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"That's our new church mascot."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Nun Binning the Devil

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Please help me up."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'