New Faith Community Gifts

'Is this seat taken?'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Tiny Visions

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"That's our new church mascot."

Father

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Drive-thru Church

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Amen. Please help me up."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Nun Binning the Devil

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'