New England Aficionado Gifts

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

NFL quarterback slides feet-first to the ground and avoids a mugging,

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

'His wife is very supportive.'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

"Too mean for hell?....Welcome to heaven, Mr. Butkus."

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'Those with a lot of Money.'

Once reintroduced back into the wild, most linebackers quickly adjust, forming packs and regaining hunting instincts that had lain dormant in captivity.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

"You were right, girl. No one has autumn leaves like Vermont!"

NFL's 50 Most Masterful Uses of the Clock