New Century Celebration Gifts

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Come dine with me!

2021

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Reach for the Star.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Be Healthy

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Bubbly

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"We have an acronym!"

Snowman

"AHHHH, MORNING!"