Centennial Anniversary Gifts

100th Birthday

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Dating is so expensive...

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Pearly King and Queen

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Things I love about Powell River...

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Regular service or affected?"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"I propose we build a panic room."

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

Authorization for the Use of Farce

A senior moment.

"Accounts Dept, can I help you?"

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"We could agree to disagree but then I'd just be preoccupied with you being wrong."

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

'That's nothing I am one million years old and if I had their kind of money I would be a boulder in my own Canyon.'

"You're ruthless in your ambition, Henderson- I admire that."

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

The y2k bug being chased by the JFK bug

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!