Centenarian Milestone Gifts

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

'I thought you received a letter from the Queen. But I didn't know you got a present as well!'

Pearly King and Queen

A very fine vintage

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Your iceberg salad, Captain!'

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"Thirty years together and now you tell me you're Canadian?"

'She was 50 years old and still didn't show her age...The same could not be said of her husband.'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Happy Golden Anniversary!

'I'm on century duty.'

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

'You're now at your peak, so it's all downhill from here.'

Captain Tom Moore

Happy 100th Birthday

'Yeah...I'm 100!'

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

Age Cards.

Graduate

"But you can't miss her second-grade first-semester graduation!"