Centenarian Curiosity Gifts

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"So, what do you do for play?"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

"You have twenty eight days to live."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Due to government legislation, we're not permitted to smoke inside anymore."

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

'Mr. Stork, tell my little brother where he came from.'

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

"By golly, that is a nasty rash...but I'm actually a Doctor of Philosophy!"

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

The pilgrimage begins

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

"What do cats want?"

"You think he knows something we don't?"

If Leonardo Da Vinci had posted a copy of the Mona Lisa online after painting it.

"No, honesty Billy. . . they don't use real dogs in them!"

'Wow! Your head weights 23 pounds just like your feet!'

"It was a complicated surgery, but hey, that's what YouTube videos are for, right?"

"The town has no history, Signore. It was built from scratch three years ago, entirely for the tourist trade."

'I'm supposed to entertain you until sis is ready. Want to read her diary?'

'I thought you received a letter from the Queen. But I didn't know you got a present as well!'

Echo Valley: your voice now available on our listen again facility.

'Don't mummy birds and bees have headaches then?'

Age Cards.

"It appears to be some sort of ancient texting device."

The Four Stages of Cruelty - Reward of cruelty.

"Who wants to be 100? Only 99-year olds..."

An old man peers through a keyhole shaped like a percentage sign

100th Birthday