Centenarian Milestone Pillows

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

'I thought you received a letter from the Queen. But I didn't know you got a present as well!'

Pearly King and Queen

A very fine vintage

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

'Your iceberg salad, Captain!'

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"Thirty years together and now you tell me you're Canadian?"

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Happy Golden Anniversary!

Happy 100th Birthday

'You're now at your peak, so it's all downhill from here.'

'I'm on century duty.'

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

'Yeah...I'm 100!'

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

Age Cards.

Graduate

"But you can't miss her second-grade first-semester graduation!"

100th Birthday

"Who wants to be 100? Only 99-year olds..."