Centennial Birthday Pillows

Happy 100th Birthday

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Pearly King and Queen

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Careful."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'