100th Birthday Milestone Pillows

100th Birthday

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Aging Problems

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."