New Age Lifestyle Gifts

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

Hippy fighting off medicine.

'Your mother and I have decided it's time to tell you... we're hippies.'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

New Age Store.

The Mainstream

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

This Year's Spa

REPENT! Get back to nature

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

The Inner Dog.

"I beg to differ."

The New Age Dentist.

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'