New Age Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

'We don't devour, Mirabelle: we empower.'

'Hey - enlighten up!'

This Year's Spa

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

The Inner Dog.

New Age Store.

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

People To Avoid At Parties # 64 I use a psychic healer..she a reincarnation..

In the future, humans will be able to concentrate their auras to specific body parts, and even read by them!

Californians Abroad.

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'If you ask me, these 'New Age' guys are becoming way too soft...'

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"My wife bought this polished stone with the word 'joy' inscribed in it ... I'd like to return it."

"You chant for inner peace. I'm chanting for a development deal."

"Oooh, wind chimes�how New Age."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

The New Age Dentist.

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

New Age Pit Bull

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