New Age Spirituality Gifts

Yogi Mayor

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

This Year's Spa

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

The Inner Dog.

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

Holy phone

Californians Abroad.

Connect This, Woo-Woos

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

'We don't devour, Mirabelle: we empower.'

'Hey - enlighten up!'

'Stressed out dogs relax through Yoga.'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

The Chameleon Spa

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

Venus Fly Trap

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

"My dear, may I suggest a little old-fashioned biofeedback, some acupuncture, and a dollop of nutrition counselling?"

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

"Does God have his own Web site so I could e-mail my prayers to him?"

For Witches of a Certain Age

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."