New Age Practices Gifts

'Stressed out dogs relax through Yoga.'

"I am going to SoHo. My doshas are all out of balance. Well, my kapha is hunky-dory but my pitta and vata are out of whack. Today the practitioner is going to get rid of all the stress with geranium, ylang-ylang, bergamot, and patchouli, and, of course, a little time in the steam tent."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

The Chameleon Spa

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

New Age Store.

This Year's Spa

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

The Inner Dog.

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Californians Abroad.

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

'We don't devour, Mirabelle: we empower.'

The Deli Llama

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"In case of emergency, break glass."

Venus Fly Trap

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

For Witches of a Certain Age

Hippy fighting off medicine.

'I told you I refuse to be born today. I don't want to be Aries.'

"You want to start pumping iron? That's your mother's department."