Alternative Practices Gifts

"In case of emergency, break glass."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''