Unconventional Practitioners Gifts

Candidates for Water Divining

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"Things are looking up!"

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Junior Doctor.

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Acupuncture clinic

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Witch Doctor

"Hold on - the ref is checking the rule book."

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

'Let's play alternative health provider.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

Playing Doctors.

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"Have some respect for my learning style."