Unconventional Practitioners Gifts

Candidates for Water Divining

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Things are looking up!"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Junior Doctor.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

Acupuncture clinic

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Playing Doctors.

'Let's play alternative health provider.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

"Have some respect for my learning style."