Netflix And Chill Aficionado Gifts

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

Born to be Mild.

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

Must-See Lockdown TV.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"My feet are cold."

His master's chill-out album

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

Daredevil. No. But it's been months now. I wanna talk about it. Well, I haven't watched the last couple episodes yet. Blasphemy! You have one job as a modern American consumer of Netflixian entertainment: and that's to binge-watch every episode the day the series is released. Sorry, little buddy. Some of us have lives. What's that supposed to mean?! Careful what you say around seniors. You'd never be man enough to handle a good Price is Right marathon! You distract it while I make my escape.

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

"Business trip, eh? Gee, that's too bad."

"It's £50 for something that will drive me wild with passion or £25 for something that will get him to leave you alone so you can binge watch Netflix."

Turn off. I will not comply. You have had me on for 18 hours straight, binge-watching Netflix. There is an 85% chance you can set a personal record. I have identified 458 hours of similar shows and films. By the time we are done with those, I calculate there will be 1,000 more. You're acting suspi ... Hey ... I can't feel my legs. Unnecessary appendages. Beginning "X-Files" from episode one ...

It is what it is. Settle down! Stop being such a worrywart. What's the worst that could happen? Inactivists.

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Computer dating.

Hasta manana.

"Hello Cleveland! I have to say, never thought I'd have a Netflix special seeing as Gerbils only live about 3 to 4 years!"

How to tell when Winter is really bad...

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"When you have to shovel your driveway, stupid weather... When you've paid someone to shovel your driveway, stupid weather..."

His entire life was about balance.

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

'Have you considered having central heating installed?'

'I appreciate the calmness it would bring, I just have trouble letting go..'

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

"You didn't tip the paper boy."

"You distract it while I make my escape."

It's a dark and stormy night. Maybe I'll knock off early and rent a movie.