Neighbour Gifts

'Fred and Wilma live in a house.'

'Well, that ties up the inventory of our new neighbours' possessions.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

'Neighbours is on, love.'

'Yes, I live on the third floor, but I am unaware of any howling sounds at night.'

'-and you'll get your shaver back when I get my mower back.'

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"It's been a rainy winter."

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'Are they pretending to be out or are you pretending to ring?'

'Fred and Wilma live in a house.'

"I'm making a sponge cake-can I sponge some eggs,some flour..."

'Do you mind turning it down a bit? I'm trying to get on with my quiet desperation.'

'We're off on holiday, will you keep an eye on the place?'

'Do you mind if Nigel lights up?'

'The neighbours have had a whip round for a new lawnmower!'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."