Neighborhood Gifts

Neighbourhood Watch.

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

$1: Family Secrets

A leg up on the competition.

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"The neighbor's dog just made a deposit in our yard. We're going over there to give him his interest."

Matched pair

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"This is Gladstone, our local lecher..."

'How to tell if there are too many coffee shops in your neighbourhood'

Apparently, he's a reformed character now.

'Our mom would like to borrow a cup of ice cream!'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

We'll be ok walking to the school bus stop. Watch out. There are scary folks out there! Slam! Ding dong! You let your children walk alone?!! Shame! And the scariest are nosy neighbors!

I dunno

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"I hope we last long enough to get a turn at despising some new people ourselves."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First time pruning?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."