Neighborhood Ninja Gifts

"I love a neighbour with a great sense of rumour."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

Parkour Breakfast

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

Interrupted Shower.

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Moving van unloading huge speakers.

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"Neighborhood Watch anti-violence meeting. Be there or else."

"The bakery-to-skinny-people ratio in this neighborhood doesn't make any sense."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"I hate what's happened to the neighborhood."

Throughout the 17 years that she had lived next to the golf course, Linda simply couldn't resist pulling this stunt whenever the opportunity arose.

'How very Putney!'

"I've never known anyone as nosey as you."