Neighbor Who Loves Cats Gifts

Cats on Board.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"How do I get down?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

Why cat yoga classes don't work

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

Zen Kitten

Leslie would regret bringing her cat to the pet store.

"He's very finicky."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"The meaning of life is cats."

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'She's killing me with kindness!'

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.