Negotiating Ninjas Pillows

"Remember, in this negotiation you're the 'Paula Abdul.'"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"The meeting will come to order."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Is this about your raise?"

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

Mediation Process

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'There's enough of us...we can take them!'

'What can we do about this leadership course?'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'