Networking Ninjas Pillows

'It's not what you know, it's WHO you know.'

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'Hi, I'm a hedge fund manager.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"We need a better piling system."

'Gimme all your cache!'