Meeting Ninja Pillows

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Precisely when did you first start feeling invisible in meetings?

'Just read the apoligies for absence, then we can both go home.'

"Actually, I wasn't paying any attention to what you just said, but I LOOK interested and engaged, don't I? Cosmetic Eyebrow Surgery!! It's totally changed my LIFE!!"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

That party went well.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Best Seller

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

The Card Flinger

Good Luck!

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

Book Thief in True Crime Department