Needle Jesters Gifts

'Numb yet?'

"The first one's just a warning."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"Any other skills?"

Rodins rotten juggler

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

The Apis Dance Studio

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

Dried Herbs

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

Banana Arcade Game

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Specimen of Mr Punch's Industrial Exhibition of 1850 (to be improved in 1851)

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Ouch!

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

"Of course he hasn't left you anything, you've been a very naughty boy "

"Baldo invaded my room and stole my Atomic Sour Balls. The invader must be stopped...this means war!"

"I'm not a programmer, so the fact that you translated your report card into code makes me a little suspicious."

"Dear Alex, how are things at college? Your mother and I wanted to know if you might send us some money..."

'I want to get this scarf finished before the wool runs out.'

"Sigh. Again with the origami!"