Nature Guru Gifts

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Allotment

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Do you have anything bigger?

Gardening Terms: Black Spot

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Gardening#2

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Tree Passion

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!