Nathaniel Hawthorne Fan Gifts

Branded A and B

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Under pressure.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Ozzy Osbourne

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

Fan-Centric Stadium

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Mummies for Dummies

Golfers lost on the road

Huckleberry Finn, M.D.

The day after Father's Day.

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

'Look at him, Tom. He is so obsessed with that silly cell phone that now he wants to be called Blackberry Finn.'

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

"That one's for his cat."

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

The invention of baseball.

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

'Well, we finally made it back for a visit. Take us to your Pharaoh.'

The mysteries of Noah's ark.

"This is a good time to be a fish."

"That one is for the Pharaoh, and that one is for his cat."