Narrative Outfielder Gifts

"Deep Right Field: a Memoir..."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

I miss recess!

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

Deregulated Baseball

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

Business Fairy Tales.

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Marcus Rashford

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."