Narrative Outfielder Gifts

"Deep Right Field: a Memoir..."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

I miss recess!

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Deregulated Baseball

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Marcus Rashford

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."