Narcissism Appreciator Pillows

Duck Taking A Selfie

Looking in the mirror

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Pharaoh Cocoon

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Nice haircut."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'I'm taking vacation next week. And wouldn't you know it, the wife wants to go on a cruise.'

Modern Narcissism

A recent study found that scarecrows now actually attract birds. Experts blame it on millions of littering slobs.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"Come on, Dillman, you'll never know if I'll say 'yes' or 'no' if you don't ask!"

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'

RJ Pitts - Getting Others to take the blame since 1984.

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"And this is the boredroom"

Zombie Fish

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Most of the time, it's unclear what our company does exactly."