Narcissism Connoisseur Pillows

"Do you know what your problem is, Duane? You're too full of yourself!"

Vlad the Impala

'Love me little, love me long.'

"How was prom?"

The Forever Stamp

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

The Butcher of 35th street.

Pizza and Related Searches.

Poser

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

Hannibal Becomes More Conciliatory.

Narcissus

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

No use trying to die with dignity. Death always shows up and spoils everything.

Mafia Marriage Guidance

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

'I stuck up a bank once. I should've taken out a loan.'

The casual selfie

"I know where the bodies are buried. I buried them."

"I'm awesome!!"