Narcissism Connoisseur Pillows

"Do you know what your problem is, Duane? You're too full of yourself!"

Vlad the Impala

'Love me little, love me long.'

The Forever Stamp

"How was prom?"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

Pizza and Related Searches.

Poser

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

The Butcher of 35th street.

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

Hannibal Becomes More Conciliatory.

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

Narcissus

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

No use trying to die with dignity. Death always shows up and spoils everything.

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

Mafia Marriage Guidance

"Let me see, 3 hours on instagram, 2 hours on twitter, another 2 writing your blog and the rest of the day presenting your youtube channel. Hmmm, I believe your tiredness could be the result of 'me'."

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

The casual selfie

"I know where the bodies are buried. I buried them."

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

"I'm awesome!!"

'I stuck up a bank once. I should've taken out a loan.'

Today's guest will discuss his narcissistic personality disorder. This relentless spotlight-hog drove everyone from his life! Click. Hey! He sounded interesting. How come you turned it off? I'm not giving him the attention. That's learn him!