Naming Ceremonies Gifts

"I hereby name thee 'Tissue Paperman'."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

BIG BOOK OF CAMPER VAN NAMES

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Employee of the Month

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Baby name suggestions.

Folk Wedding

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Naming that Impala

GLAD-YOU-ATION

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"Sinead?!"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"