Naming Ceremonies Pillows

"I hereby name thee 'Tissue Paperman'."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Baby name suggestions.

Employee of the Month

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

Folk Wedding

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Naming that Impala

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

"Sinead?!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'