Name Swapper Pillows

'Would that make you feel better?'

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

'I traded a motherboard for three DVD's. They were bogus, so I tossed them out the window....'

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'I'm coping.'

'Look what the ice cream man gave me for your iPhone!'

"From now on, I'd prefer to be called the Venti Dipper."

'I see Wavecrest's changed hands...'

'We'll leave the corn alone if you never tell that dumb story about Dorothy and Toto again.'

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

Last night my mother asked me when I'm going to change my name to yours. Tell your mother that a woman named Lance is a bad idea, Gloria.

"This year I thought it would be appropriate to light a womenoran!"

"This is so much better than book club."

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

"If you buy it all you get a cobblestone for free."

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

"But hey, all my new friends call me Denise now...it's my middle name."

"I always enjoy our talks."

'Trade you my Clark contract for your Dickenson file.'

'...and a boiled potato,a pinch of garlic,stirring constantly and then...'

Unknown

The doctor and the mechanic barter