Pet Swapper Pillows

'How do you like the dog I got for my wife?'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

Christmas tree exchange

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

Some people like coming home to a dog. Carly preferred an 8 piece funk brass band.

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'I'm coping.'

'I swapped the piano for Stewie's guitar.'

Dog on Cat.

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"

"I'm ready to switch"

Lady sees 'Stop' sign above cat at shelter, thinks, 'Well ... I did ask for a sign.'

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

"This is so much better than book club."

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

"I know, isn’t it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?"

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

Pinnochio's Dog.

'This time of year it's all that keeps me sane! I keep the magazine in the bathroom and I've about wore the ink off the pages!'

'...and a boiled potato,a pinch of garlic,stirring constantly and then...'

'Would that make you feel better?'

'We should return the favor, and find a mate for her.'

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'