Pet Matchmakers Pillows

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

cuPad

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

Dog on Cat.

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

'Ralph asked me to marry him, Pookie, but I told him I'd have to talk to you before I could give him an answer.'

"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."