Pet Matchmakers Pillows

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

cuPad

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Dog on Cat.

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"