Equine Matchmaker Pillows

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'I don't know what he sees in her - she can't even freeze an embryo.'

"All the good ones are neutered."

Hydrogen nucleus seeks single portion for possible fusion. . . to share conversations on nanoparticle tracking.

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."