Equine Matchmaker Gifts

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Hydrogen nucleus seeks single portion for possible fusion. . . to share conversations on nanoparticle tracking.

"All the good ones are neutered."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I don't know what he sees in her - she can't even freeze an embryo.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."