Furry Matchmaker Gifts

My dog would like your dog's phone number.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Pucker up!

"Thanks for walking me home."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"All the good ones are neutered."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

Lady sees 'Stop' sign above cat at shelter, thinks, 'Well ... I did ask for a sign.'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

Soulmates.

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"Of course, all the good ones are fixed."

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

There's a factory up here making something exported to earth? Yeah, people down there want a match made in heaven!

Pinnochio's Dog.

"I know, isn’t it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?"

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

'Do I know you?'

'We should return the favor, and find a mate for her.'