Name Creators T-Shirts

'John and I have agreed on 'Mary Kate Elizabeth,' but we're still working on a screen name.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

Tom Cruise

Creator's Block

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Phoebe Mary Waller-Bridge caricature

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'It's my pseudonym.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

'I'm a guy and my name is Vixen! Of course I'm going to have issues!'

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

"My parents named me Bill because I was past due when I was born."

"Actually, the first name was easy. It's her last name we're battling about."

'I'm not Sandy. I thought you were Sandy.'

"All the good band names are taken by microbreweries."

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

A song that no one's heard.

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."