Name Avoider Pillows

"I don't have kids because after twenty years of teaching there isn't a child's name I can hear that won't give me horrible flash backs."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Email Notifications

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Sawdust.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

'I hate networking.'

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

Too posh to wash...

'Nature makes me nervous!'

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

'Lots of people never had hurricanes named after them.'

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

'My brother hates school. He won't read in captivity.'

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.