Nail Gun Ninja Gifts

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

Self help acupuncture

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

I quilt therefore I am

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Tool Box

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Coronavirus world

Best Seller

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Knitted Kitty.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Better than Chekhov"

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

Be the grass...

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

The light is green.

"Numb yet?"

Multitasking

"I've asked you repeatedly not to startle me when I'm working!"

Maid with her sewing basket