Mythical Sword Wielder Gifts

'How did he do that?-I've been after that fish for the last twelve months!'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Sisyphus during Covid

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Guitar Hero.

Corporate pirate.

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

The strong corna war

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Battle.

"Ha! I didn't become the mayor of Atlantis by listening to a bunch of pesky scientists."

"Go ahead and touch my light. It's made of boyfriend material."

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

"Did you enter the correct password?"

"Sit tight, chief-I'll take you out where the big swords are."

"Who's going to carve?"

'Great. Now that I've got a better idea of your tolerance for risk, I have a few investments to recommend.'

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

'Come on Kevin, that's enough wishful thinking for one day.'

"Awesome! Are you sure I won't end up spending all my time on it?"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

Pot of gold at end of rainbow, "I only hope that it's gonna be exempt from tax"

Croquembouche.

'I want you to endow me with the 'King Midas touch' for 24 hours.'

Sword Fight

Woodcutter yells 'timber' as tree falls on him.

'Then it's agreed...I'll treat your rough scaly skin and you'll teach me how to swim.'