Mythical Medic T-Shirts

"Take three thousand Tylenol and call me in the morning."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Keyworker

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"This will be a tricky operation."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

Cuba applauds its doctors

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

The Uses of a Stethoscope

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'When I grow up I'm going to be a doctor. If science has left anything uncured.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'